13 Ways For a Boy to Get Into Trouble

The Boy, who is fifteen and in ninth grade, has been having himself a grand old time. Not that I’m saying he himself has actually done any of this, mind you.

1. Test the city curfew laws. Apparently around here it is 10 pm on a school night and 11 pm otherwise. The first time your child is caught the city will send you a nice little letter explaining the times and threatening legal action should it happen again.

2. Smash a milk carton to see how far down the hall the milk will splash.

3. Instigate a milk carton smashing contest during the after school program.

4. Ride a bicycle after dark with no light. OK, this one might have been his mother’s fault.

5. When the nice policeman who has nothing better to do changes his mind about arresting a boy for bicycling after dark without a light because his mother is riding next to him and acts all apologetic, take the more dangerous back route to the store, where a light can be purchased.

6. Take two swallows out of the milk jug, then put the jug back into the refrigerator.

7. When Mother yells, hide the almost empty milk jug from which two swallows were sneaks it into his bedroom where it is hidden until the milk goes bad and stinks up the place.

8. Throw his friend’s coat into the girl’s bathroom so the friend (male) will have to go in and get it.

9. Get upset about having his coat thrown into the girl’s bathroom and kick over a garbage can in front of the janitor in a fit of temper. Having been caught, yell and fuss until the vice principal, teacher, janitor, and grandmother have all been dragged into it.

10. Get bopped on the side of the head by Mother when pointing and laughing at the friend in the parking lot surrounded by the vice principal, teach, janitor, and grandmother.

11. Skateboard down the front steps.

12. Go into a store (Safeway) with an idiot friend who then shoplifts. Get accused of shoplifting himself even though he did nothing of the sort. Have Safeway charge his parents $100 for the privilege of being falsely accused, though later exonerated. Laugh at poor parents who then must undergo a series of exchanges with Safeway to get the civil charges dropped. Good thing it wasn’t WalMart – whom everyone says is even more nasty and unfair.

13. Bring home grades that range from A to F depending on how much he likes the teacher.

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Paige Tyler
Debbie Cairo
Calico Contemplations
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