October 18, 2009 Am I living Srugim?
Or is Srugim living my life?
Srugim is a TV show about the life I have just re-entered; the single’s life in Katamon, Jerusalem. I’ve watched TV shows about New Yorkers, LAers, even Canadians but I’ve never seen a show that is so connected to me personally. From what I know of Israeli TV (I barely watched any even during my first 16 years living here), this show is a breath of fresh air. In most Israel TV, the stories surround Tel Aviv and a pretty specific culture and community in that city. Srugim, being based in Jerusalem and around the religious community, is pretty much clean and the dialogue, from the admittedly little I’ve seen on youtube, is sweet, funny and touching. I will hopefully soon be making a point of watching the whole first season.
Here is a scene where two women are discussing their faith in God. It’s a good conversation, in my opinion.
Srugim has become very popular, not only amongst religious people. It won many awards for its first season. (Click on this wikipedia link for information about that.) It’s amazing and exciting returning to Israel to this new reality of a religious TV show finding its place on regular TV. They are currently filming the second season which I know because one scene was filmed at the cafe next to my house and another scene had my now-famous sister-in-law play in a lead role… You will see her as an, well, an extra this season! (But such an important extra!)
Of course whenever anyone tries to depict the Orthodox community, there are hesitated reactions because there is fear of negative PR. But this show is written and directed by men with kippas and women in shirts. Actually, the woman in the skirt, one of the co-producers, Chava Divon, her adorable little son was in kindergarden with my adorable little sister a few years ago, so I even know who she is. And though, like any show, it’s not 100% accurate – we don’t have such witty dialogue on such a regular basis, for example – it’s really just a fine little window into that world.
As for those of us in that world, it puts a whole new twist on TV watching, having a show that is so close to home. I like.
As for my Srugim life, two nights ago I went to my third group Katamon meal. It would be much simpler if I just called it a singles’ meal but I hate admitting that that is what unites all of us at these Shabbat meals. I lie to myself saying that theoretically there could be married couples at the table it’s just that for natural reasons, they end up hanging out in different social circles. Which makes those meals not singles’ meals but meals with singles.
Whatever! Whatever way you look at it, last night I went to my third singles meal since my return to Israel exactly a month ago. Eleven singles around a Shabbat table eating food prepared by a few of us including challah by yours truly, fyi. Again, just like at the other two meals I’ve been to so far, I had a wonderful time – I met some amazing new people which, as some of you know, makes me very happy – but I’m so freakin’ scared! I know you can never know when you’ll meet the right person. Who knows, maybe I already have. But I’m so scared this is going to be my life for a much longer time than I would prefer.
But, my bro gave me great advice which, if I could implement it, I do believe would serve me well. He said, it’s so hard to find the right person that meanwhile you may as well throw all caution to the wind. (Wine prior to my arrival at this past meal helped me implement those tactics. It was like my training wheels!)
Granted, I wouldn’t go that far, to throw all caution to the wind. I will make an effort, as much as I can, but there is truth in what my brother says. Meanwhile, having a good time is key! As long as, at the same time, you don’t lose sight of what you really want. Sometimes it’s just really hard to have a good time.
As for Srugim, will it be like comics and so many TV shows where the people never actually move on to new states in their lives? Now that would be depressing!
And to finish, here is a very cute scene that is 100% accurate with reality (um, yeah right) about a girl who doesn’t want to buy a new bed, even though she desperately needs one, because you only buy a new bed when you get married. Good to know.
Tags: Community, dati leumi, dating, israel, israeli tv, jerusalem, jewish, Relationships, singles, srugim
- 9 comments
- Posted under Art, Community, Deena Levenstein, Relationships, Video
Permalink # Ken Kendall said
I love the honesty of your post.
I write a blog about marriage and how men can love their wives better. Ironically, I think it is even better suited for single women to see what a great man really can be. And wit that knowledge, to decide to not settle for anything less.
I hope you will check it out when you have a chance.
http://whatsheneedsfromyou.wordpress.com
Thanks,
Permalink # Deena said
Ken, thank you so much for stopping by. Your site looks amazing. I want to say that it always pisses me off when I hear women who talk against men. I think “men” (generalizing doesn’t really work but whatever) have great potential and one of the most beautiful things to see in this world is a man who is being good and caring to his wife. I’m happy you’re trying to effect change in that realm of the human existence. Good luck in your continued effort!
Permalink # Ken Kendall said
Thank you Deena for taking the time to read. Since my last comment, I have had the opportunity to read some more of your posts. I love your open and honest, sincere heart.
Permalink # Deena said
Ken, thank you so much for your very kind words. Very appreciated.
Permalink # Deena said
btw, for your interest, Ken in Hebrew means yes. : )
Permalink # rafi said
all I can say is now I understand a whole lot more! However, sometimes people have meals such as these simply because they enjoy the company of others, and not with any ulterior motive in mind. There is no reason to go into them saying “perhaps I will meet the right guy or girl”. Just go into them as a meal and enjoy spending time with others. You seem to say that you have enjoyed it, so leave it at that, and why search for ways to freak yourself out!
Permalink # Deena said
Rafi, you understand a whole lot more? I’m curious what you’re referring to. As for just enjoying, well, it’s a nice idea theoretically but there are a lot of nice ideas theoretically, the question is where each of us is and how much we’re capable of implementing the ideas we believe in.
I’m not saying I’m NOT capable. I’m saying that if I am, great and if I’m not, it’s understandable and not the end of the world. Nachon?
Permalink # Marcus said
I remember doing meals like that. I always hated them. Glad I’m not alone out there. I just don’t understand what is wrong with eating by one’s self? It’s not like we are all so scared of ourselves that we can’t spend some personal time together doing a shabbat meal the way we enjoy it.
I remember this one time I was at one of these singles meals, and this guy sitting next to me asked me a question (which I later slapped him for) he asked “do you think the girl over on the other side of the table would like me better if I started zemirot?
I was dumbfounded for a moment and then I pulled him aside and told him that the girl would like him better if he would just man-up and be comfortable with himself. If he doesn’t think heis a prize catch why in the world would she!
If he wants to sing, then sing, if he doesn’t then don’t. He needed to be himself and be happy with himself in order to get anyone to look at him, and the same is true for all of us.
If you are unhappy with yourself, or unhappy with where you are in life, then you need to stop looking for Mr. Right and start looking for you! Once you find yourself Mr. Right will be able to find you as well.
I hope whoever invited you, was happy with who they are guy/girl, and that he/she wasn’t one of these needy kinds of people who is looking for others to verify their own self worth.
That can make any meal awkward, and scare the heck out of even me!
Ya never know where you will meet the guy/girl you are looking for, but what you should know is where you will meet your own self worth, and if it is not at these meals then don’t go. On the other hand if you enjoy meeting people as you say you do, then go and kick it! You’ll see, once Mr. Right sees how confident you are he will be awed and inspired by you and naturally be attracted, if not then maybe he is just not it!
Permalink # Marcus said
p.s. I really hate srugim! Talk about lack of self confidence and looking for others to verify their own sense of self worth! uch!