The isn't Chris Dack amazing page!
The facts on this page may not be true, and are subject to change at anytime, and probably have no bearing on the individual named Chris Dack. (in other words, if I know you, I will deny everything!)
Ahem. (clears throat). Hello. My name is Chris. This is me. I will try to make this as quick as possible, because after many years of surfing the 'net, I sort of feel that doing an 'about me' page is a bit of a cliche. So here I go....
General stats: I am a single bloke, I live in a house. In the North-East of England, somewhere in the vicinity of Darlingtontontontontonton.
Age: 29 years, 20 months,and a few days. My star sign is Aquarius, ironic, because it's about water, and I don't do water, I am scared of it. (Perhaps I died of it in a previous life, or something). Anyways.. Star signs are a load of crap, just 12 different ways of saying "anything can happen to you today".
I will give my height later on, because today I am on another one of my 'I hate imperial' days, but since I don't know what 5 feet 7inches is in metric, I won't give it. ..(D'oh!)
Profession/Career: Time served electrician. Now working in a shop. Everybody asks why, when the world is crying out for electricians I could make so much more money, and I am in a shop selling lights. I suppose it's because I prefer talking about it instead of doing it. Oh, and I hate heights! Why can't lights be fixed to the floor?!.. oh no! They always insist on putting the lights on the ceiling, all the way up there! Our shop is always warm and nice, and I get to meet loads of lovely people every day!! (If you sense sarcasm in that last statement, it may be your imagination.). I am (usually) happy in my work, and I think that is worth a few quid in anybody's pay packet! I never feel stressed about going to work, I never worry about it.
Hobbies/Special abilities: Eating cakes and pies without putting on weight. Gadget man. Annoying the neighbours with my loud hi-fi, (they're nice about it now, I soundproofed the walls and they're happy). Talking instead of accomplishing things. Thinking about what I can accomplish. Discussing it with others. Digressing (talking about one subject, and then drifting from the point). Excessive sleeping, and getting up exactly 45 minutes before I am due at work, whatever the shift. Even 2 in the afternoon.
Favourite Things: Used to be 'Star Trek' (don't groan), But a little bored with that now. Buffy The Vampire Slayer has now filled that space, currently in the process of buying all the DVD box sets, so I can sit and watch far too much of it in one go. I like Willow best. They should call it 'Willow The Wich' as far as I'm concerned, but it has been pointed out that it would be confused with a ''70s cartoon featuring Kenneth Williams and a TV set. (Willo The Wisp). I like so much music I don't know who to put down as favourite. I have been through the Erasure phase, the Garbage phase, may be heading towards a Rock Music phase, but that could be countered by 'Popstars - The Rivals'. Generally I have to admit mindless bubblegum pop has a place in the world, if it makes you happy, play it!
Talents: None.
Other favourite things, possibly of influence: Monty Python, Father Ted, Fawlty Towers, (if I'm in the right frame of mind, A League Of Gentlemen, but it is a bit sick. Could be something I would find easier to write than to watch.). I know there are other things, but as usual when I'm writing I can't remember!
Personal Hell: Being stuck in Butlins with the gates locked and told I could never leave! AAAARRRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
Aims In life: To get all the weird stuff OUT of my head, and use it to make me rich and famous. I know there is some good stuff in there, I just never take the time to write it down, and so forget it all. Due to having a bit of a 'fish memory' I always forget it all. That is because I have a bit of a 'fish memory'. Did I mention my memory is crap. It's like having the memory of a fish. That's why I liken it to having a memory of a fish, a bit like a 'fish memory'. Ooh look a castle, who put that there? Put what? What's That? Ooh look a castle, where did that come from? What? Who am I? Where am I? Who are you? What am I doing? What are you doing? Are those my feet?