Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Your Nylons Audition Goodbye

I was talking this morning to the Kindergarten teacher at my kids’ school (Shout out Mr. H!).  He is a National Teacher of the Year recipient and a loyal blog subscriber – just wanted you to know the caliber of people who are subscribers to this blog.  He was talking about yesterday’s post and the horrors I went through with my Chanticleer audition.  In talking to him I remembered and related another story, a prequel if you will to the Chanticleer nightmare.  I now share it with you to complete yesterday’s story.

Several months before the infamous San Francisco audition the baritone from The Nylons passed away.  The Nylons were at the height of their popularity at the time doing a cappella covers of pop songs.  You might remember them because their versions of songs like The Lion Sleeps Tonight and Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye were played a lot all over the pop airwaves.  If you don’t remember them I’ll bet if you YouTube or itunes them and hear these songs you’ll then remember.  Anyhoo they announced they were holding auditions to replace their baritone.  The auditions were to take place in Seattle, Minneapolis, New York and Toronto.  I sent them an audition tape, which they liked, and I was invited to the Seattle audition which would take place in about a month.  I was filled with happiness, excitement and panic.  I wasn’t a huge fan so I didn’t really know their arrangements.  That was no problem though as I went out and bought every album of theirs and started listening and learning at every free moment.  The panic was over the part where they told me they not only wanted to hear me sing live, they also wanted to see me move.  Only a slight problem with that –  I don’t move.  There are several reasons why you will see me singing from the piano if you come to one of my shows – I like accompanying myself since I always know what I am doing, it’s cheaper to not have to pay a pianist, I like the classiness of the look, oh yeah and one other thing – I DON’T MOVE!

I lived at home at the time, because that is what you do when you are a recent college graduate with a degree in music.  I spent the next several weeks learning the songs, learning the baritone part and trying to fake up some dance moves behind closed doors in my parents’ basement.  I didn’t know how I was going to fake it but this was a plum gig with a big-time group.  Besides, there was a subplot.  The girl who ended up being the last girl I would date seriously before meeting my wife, the girl who I really liked but then I would come to realize she  just wasn’t quite the one but then after breaking up with her I would realize I missed her and would get back together and that cycle played out a couple of times before her parents convinced her to go to school 300 miles away from me – she was a HUGE Nylons fan.  I’m talking screamed when I had surprised her with Nylons tickets and then writhed and shook and cried in her seat like the girls used to for Elvis or The Beatles – Come to think of it I remember sitting next to her at this moment and thinking nah, she’s probably not the one.  Well at audition time I was back in the missing her stage and I figured calling her to tell her I had been hired by The Nylons would probably be a good start to winning her over yet again. 

About 4 or 5 days before I was to set off for the audition, I came home from my job as an insurance salesperson, because that is what you do when you are a recent college graduate with a degree in music, and my mom looked like someone had died.  She told me somebody representing The Nylons had called to say that they had found their guy at the Toronto audition, the first one they had held, and they had called off all the other auditions.  This was bad enough news but then she told me how she had spent the next several minutes chastising the person on the phone because her son “had worked so hard the last few weeks.”   My head swirled with nightmarish images of her telling the person what a good boy I was and that they had some nerve!  It must have been bad because a few days later I received an apology letter in the mail from The Nylons that told of the conversation.  I think I recall throwing it away as fast as I could to try to quickly get past the embarrassment of having my mom berating a music group for not picking her son.  I thanked her to please not take any more calls like that.  

So this closes the door on the story of the sometimes nightmarish results that come with daring to step out and to be brave.  The one-two punch of The Nylons and Chanticleer could have easily knocked me out for good but no, I stepped up, fought the good fight and continued and still continue to subject myself to auditions, meetings and other fun things where somebody gets to say “Nope.”  Memories like this definitely make the times when William Morris Endeavor says to you yeah, we like what you do and we think you are interesting and talented, seem even that much sweeter.  They also keep you balanced.  I don’t know how anyone gets a big ego in this biz. 

Even if I had a show put on TV tomorrow that became a smash hit I would always remember the time when my mom bawled out The Nylons on my behalf or when I stopped being able to sing in the middle of my Chanticleer audition.  There is always balance to be found.