The Petersen Report

It is well known that certain questions (e.g., religion, politics, family, disability) cannot “legally” be asked of a job applicant, which can make the screening process sensitive. There will be times, however, when an interviewer crosses the line, whether intentionally or unknowingly, and tries to trick you into answering these questions. Be open to the fact that even though the interviewer asks an illegal question, it does not necessarily mean that the intent was to discriminate.

The manner in which you respond to an interview question should demonstrate your emotional and social intelligence skills. First and foremost, do not be defensive. Always respond in the most diplomatic way possible; be tactful and use finesse. Your facial expression, tone, and posture will speak louder than the words you select. Do not show “visual” discomfort, arrogance, or intimidation. The way you answer must fit your personality, so before the interview practice answering improper questions with a friend or an interview consultant.

Here are some situations and sample responses to help you relax and prepare for your career job interview:

Situation #1: Handling the sense of awkwardness caused by being out of the workplace for a significant period of time due to industry cutbacks, a family situation, or personal issues.

Response: I can understand why you ask that question. I had to tend to some very important business outside the job market.

You do not need to give full details about your life – just enough to satisfy the question. It is better to be proactive and answer voids of more than six months ahead of anyone asking. Your response cannot be vague; it must be specific. For example:

I was caring for an unexpected healthcare crisis with a family member that is cleared up now.
Or,
I decided after many years in the workforce that I would take a long overdue vacation, and so I have been traveling from coast to coast for a considerable length of time.

You do need to give some details, however; your personal life is on the table during an interview – even if it is just an undercurrent. Any vague answers count against an applicant.

Situation #2: Answering a question with a question in order to clarify the underlying purpose without seeming to challenge the interviewer.

Response: Is that information you need for this interview? Perhaps you can let me know how it relates to the position. I just need to understand the purpose so that I may answer appropriately.

It is okay to show concern about a question. Never question why a question is being asked unless it pertains to illegal protected class issues such as gender, age, sexual orientation, parental status, etc. Never challenge an interviewer, that is, if you want the job. It is best to seek legal advice if you are concerned, or speak to someone you know personally who has a human resource background. For example:

One gal I interviewed had left her previous job – was fired and was now seeking a sales position with us. I had to ask why she left her last position. She was in a domestic violence situation – not her fault – but enough culpability that she was let go and is still going to court for additional issues related . . . so she would need several days off work to attend court counseling etc. This is very personal but I needed all the info in order to make a hiring decision. Again, never challenge an interviewer. (Christine Jurich, SPHR)

Situation #3: Answering difficult questions or questions that you are trying to avoid without seeming defensive, all the while maintaining your sense of control and sincerity.

Response: That is an awkward question to answer or I am not sure I understand the nature of the question. May I ask if it is necessary or for clarity?

Avoid the term “illegal” for an interview question, since it might not be. You do not want to sound defensive. Never challenge the interviewer.

Situation #4: Having to tactfully sidestep a question.

Response: May I ask why you are asking?

Assess the motive behind the question. If you do not think that it is malicious, and you really want the job, then put it back on the interviewer, or answer indirectly. This might help the interviewer realize that he or she has asked an inappropriate question.

Situation #5: Responding to a question about your personal life.

Response: My personal life is good. Thank you for asking.
Or:
My family is very supportive of my career decisions.

You do not need to elaborate or identify specific family members. You could be referring to immediate family or distant relatives. However, there will be times when child care arrangements and absenteeism is a concern if you are asked to work nights and weekends as needed.

This comes up regularly. If you have small kids and no sitter, nights and weekends would be a problem or if your mother-in-law lives 25 miles away and she is your sitter that is a problem. Honesty is the best policy. Saying my personal life is good could sound flip to some human resource professionals so be careful how you respond. (Christine Jurich, SPHR)

Situation #6: Drawing attention away from a disability.

Response: Although I am physically challenged, I am mentally very sharp.

Be upfront. Here is the question that interviewers will ask:

Would you need an accommodation to perform the essential functions of this position if it was offered to you?

Then address your need for a wheelchair, ramp, hearing device for the telephone, or other things. You must be very up front, but reiterate that you have the skills and knowledge to excel in the position.

Situation #7: Overcoming your obvious heritage or immigrant status.

Response: If you need to know whether or not I am authorized to work in the United States, I am.

This takes the pressure or awkwardness away from the interviewer. Sometimes in an interview the question is posed something like this:

Are you able to provide documentation that you are legally able to work in the United States within three days of hire?

Answer honestly, yes or no.

Interview Tip:
Having interviewed hundreds in my career, I was very careful in making sure the questions I asked were fair. This allowed me to formulate an opinion about the candidate based on the responses given to me. I tended to make a judgment within one minute of meeting the candidate, (even based on the handshake), and then asked questions to determine if my first impressions were on the mark. Most of the times, I followed my first impressions. I would often interview 14 candidates in one day and chose two or three, for follow up interviews with managers. Managers would often compliment me on my choices and recommendations. Body language, eye contact, sincerity, poise, presence, dress, listening skills, and completeness of answers were some of the characteristics I looked for. I was not impressed by a candidate who was just “shopping” and did not really prepare for the interview, nor knew the industry or the firm I worked for. (Horst Kniesel, Chase Bank)

The Bottom Line:

Etiquette is the ability to put others at ease with you. You will put the interviewer at ease by being prepared to answer questions with a positive and helpful demeanor. Always be diplomatic and kind. Displaying a defensive attitude will surely work against you and is unnecessary. Realize too that the interviewer’s job is also at stake if he or she makes a wrong interview choice.

Resource: “The above questions and responses were formulated with the assistance of the following:

• Christine Jurich, SPHR, (Senior Professional Human Recourses). Ms. Jurich has a background working in human resources in healthcare, information technology, telecomm, etc.”
• Horst Kniesel, Former First Vice President, JPMorgan Chase Bank, N.A.,

We invite you to share your interview tips (or experiences)
on how to handle awkward interview questions diplomatically.

This entry was posted on October 21, 2008 at 9:51 pm and is filed under Business Etiquette. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.