Japes

1. * Rule number one “You don’t ask who Chuck Norris is ?” …
2. * Rule number three “You don’t ask who Chuck Norris is ?” …
3. * There is no Rule number two in “Chuck Norris’ Dictionary ?” …
4. * Never question Chuck Norris ! NEVER !

Keep On Reading : (Or else Chuck Norris will make you read it)

During the Confused ! conversation, Jim asked if i knew  Chuck Norris? Of course who can forget him from Way of the Dragon (titled Return of the Dragon in USA) one of the ass kicking Bruce Lee legends. Jim asked me if i heard about ‘Chuck Norris Facts’ when asked “what it was?” he started with this (number) one “Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried” and he unleashed an unending hell of laughter upon me. I’d like to share some of my favorites with you, please don’t forget to visit the websites at the end for more facts.

More of Chuck Norris Facts : –

• When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice :) **
• In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. **
• Chuck Norris kicked Neo out of Zion , now Neo is “The Two”
• If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
• When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one. **
• Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his SAT’s, simply by writing Chuck Norris for every answer.
• Chuck Norris does not “style” his hair. It lays perfectly in place out of sheer terror.
• Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life. Never.
• Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
• If you Google search “Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked” you will generate zero results. It just doesn’t happen.
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch the show ’60 Minutes’. **
• Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
• Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Chuck Norris.
• The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’ age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
• * Again the saw to cut Chuck Norris hasn’t been invented, not even Diamonds.
  Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
• If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober
• The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron’s ass halfway through the first chapter. **

For more Chuck Norris Facts visit links :

www.thechucknorrisfacts.com
www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Finally go & Google ‘Chuck Norris’ and click “I’m feeling lucky”

* Some of my personal Chuck Norris jokes; if someone has already invented these by the time posted, you know he doesn’t own the rights, but Chuck Norris does ! :)

** Best of my favorite Chuck Norris jokes in the list

Only Chuck Norris Can read ‘Chuck Norris Facts’ out loud :)