March 1st, 2010
Working with the kids with cancer has been one of the most incredible experiences of my life. It has changed me, stimulated growth and maturation, and transformed me. These amazing young teachers have opened my heart in ways I never thought possible. I never dreamed of going into a hospital to work with kids with cancer, never in my wildest dreams. Yet, working with them has created a passion to serve, to care, to help, and to love that goes to the core of my being. I have become gentler, more understanding and more compassionate with everyone who comes into contact with me because of my experience working with these children.
These young teachers have helped me step up to another level, to become more than I was and to continue to learn and strive to step up even more, way beyond what I thought possible. Who would have thought it would be possible to do EFT inside a hospital cancer wing in the treatment room during spinal taps, on gurneys before surgeries, at their bedside and in the waiting area? These young teachers have taught me lessons about being strong, showing a good face, being brave and even when it is necessary to crawl into a fetal position to protect yourself. These children have inspired me to dig deeper, find what simple little tapping sequences, words and images help them release fears, traumas and pains, as well as step up, choose to heal, and empower themselves. It is a collaborative effort as I could not do what I’m doing without them. We have come together to learn and grow together. They inspire me daily. They touch my heart deeply, these beautiful souls who I’ve come to love deeply and appreciate beyond words.
I’ve had every emotion possible since I began working with these children. Anything from sadness about seeing children with such terrible illnesses, shame for my own weaknesses, anger at the brutality of our current treatments, frustration and irritation when I don’t know how to reach a child, helplessness when a child is hurting or leaving body and I couldn’t seem to find the key to help them feel better, to despair at the loss of my favorite children as they had become dear friends. I’ve managed to do a lot of tapping on my own issues around working with these children. It has been crucial. I went in with a naivety about “let’s see what happens” to falling in love with the children and becoming so passionate about this work, to deep sobs of anguish, frustration and feelings that I had failed one I cared for because I couldn’t step up and had backed away because of my own fears of going deeper into the emotions of seeing death in front of me, then losing that dear child. I’ve called upon friends to tap with me when I couldn’t deal with the grief of that loss while knowing that I needed to move through the standard 13 months of grief in a few hours or days because more children were in the hospital waiting for me to help them. I had to step up and move on, remember deeply her presence in my life, take what I learned with her, and apply it more profoundly with the ones that remained and were calling out for my guidance.
I’ve felt absolute joy, delight, pleasure, peace and pure love as I interact with these children on a daily basis. We have FUN feeling better, while learning how to feel better, learning that it’s ok to feel better, while choosing to feel good and to heal. The peels of laughter that come as we tap, visualize and joke around fill the hospital room with the delight of life. That is pure healing in my eyes. Seeing each moment of that joy knowing that it has improved the quality of life of some young child, their parent, a nurse observing us, is something that profoundly moves me. To be part of that depth of choice, of transformation is a personal blessing that fills my heart to the brim. Learning that one of my favorite kids has taken what I taught him home with him, continues to apply it on a daily basis and then taught his whole family and friends to tap with him thereby creating his own healing community reminds me of how gracefully children pick up and use what they know in their hearts works for them. I never realized how touching the life of one child could change so many until the day I learned what this child had done. I know now that many of these children go home and teach their friends and family to tap with them. They are improving the quality of life of many more people than I could even have imagined when I first stepped into the hospital and because of it, I see the greater purpose of the illness in their lives.
My dream is to share with the world what I’ve experienced and learned with the children and their families because I would love to see more and more children heal of their emotional wounds, the ones that are the beginning of these illnesses. I would love each inner child part within all of us adults to heal alongside these children like mine has. I would love to know that each person is empowered to choose to feel good, be happy and live life filled with love.
I’ve shared only a small portion of what I’ve experienced with these beautiful children and their families. I’ve done so to give you an idea of how far reaching a simple intention to help and be of service can expand when you listen to the inspiration in your heart and take the first step. It ripples out from there with every subsequent step you take until something so amazing has transpired that you stand in awe of it all.
