What’s the point of advertising, the aim of a commercial? Most would say the goal is to get people to buy what you’re selling, either by overtly stating reasons why you should buy their product or at least establishing a brand identity which will eventually get you to buy it. Despite the fact I write about commercials, it’s actually very rare one will actually get me to buy something. I’ve enjoyed the Wii Madden, second generation Zune and Ask Coach Coors Light commercials, but I play video games on an Xbox 360, listen to music on my iPod and drink most anything other than Coors Light.
So at first sniff, you may think commercials have no effect on me whatsoever. Well, you thought wrong, sir–ads can have an impact on my spending habits, just not how they intend. I may be alone here, but sometimes there are commercials that are so horrendous they make me vow to never buy anything from the company which airs them. The latest company to join my boycott has followed closely the immutable laws of crappy commercials by producing ads that have a super-annoying catchphrase, idiotic people, terrible acting, saccharine-sweet sentiment and blatantly materialistic women. The company you ask? Jared the Galleria of Jewelry.
I usually have videos of the commercials to accompany an Ad Nauseam feature, unfortunately I couldn’t find Jared commercials online, so you’ll just have to take my word for it that this ad is dogshit. I swear, if I hear one more vacuous, money-grubbing chick gleefully exclaiming that “He went to Jared,” I’m going to lose it. Seriously, this has to be one of the most annoying, poorly conceived commercials I’ve seen; completely filled with schmaltzy overacting and sheer stupidity.
And who the hell is the intended demographic for this ad campaign? At first I thought the ad was intended for men, to convince them that women will be really excited if you buy them Jewelry from Jared, whoever he is. But when I saw the spots a few more times, I realized that there is no way this ad could convince a man to actually shop there, unless that man were gay, and last time I checked gay men don’t buy an awful lot of jewelry for their girlfriends. And I don’t mean for that last statement to be an insult toward gay men in any way, what I mean to say is the ads seem to appeal to a very effeminate sensibility. They’re like the worst episode of Friends you’ve ever seen (I know, how could you possibly choose which episode qualifies as the worst, but stay with me).
The only men I could possibly conceive of seeing these ads and think to themselves that they should go to Jared, are men whose balls are so tightly in the clinch of the women they would be buying the jewelry for that it’s nearly impossible for them to breath. Although, that may be a sizeable group of men, ultimately I think the ads are aimed at women as a way of saying “listen, you know you like yourself some gold and ice, so tell your fella to head over to Jared and pick you up something so you can lord it over your jealous friends.” If that’s the case, and I believe it is, then either women are a far more irredeemable breed of human than I had previously thought or there are some real issues with how corporate America openly portrays women as shallow. I tend to go with the former over the latter.
Recently I’ve heard women, namely Katherine Heigl, complain about sexist portrayals of them in films like Knocked Up. She complains that women are being shown in a negative light, because in a film like Knocked Up, the women are the unfunny buzzkills, seeking to train and neuter the fun-loving guys (Slate just had an interesting article on this very subject, you can follow the link below to read it). Sometimes I find this to be the case, as there are far more occasions where I’ve known really cool guys to become decidedly less fun after dating a woman for an extended period of time as opposed to the other way around.
However, I don’t find this to be a totally negative stereotype. The idea that women care about family, domestic order and responsibilities more than fantasy baseball or extended, overblown, conversations about who’s the greatest guitarist of all-time, isn’t something women should be ashamed of. Is it really so bad to say women may have their shit together a little bit more than men, even if that requires you to say that women aren’t funny? Is that such a terrible trade-off?
This stereotype Katherine Heigl speaks of shouldn’t catch women’s ire as much as the one presented in the Jared commercials, which portrays women as completely shallow, possibly stupid, and most definitely petty. Seriously, are you telling me women believe there is no better expression of your man’s love for you than for him to purchase you jewelry from a store so great your friends are bound to be jealous? I certainly hope that’s not how women think, but sadly I’ll never know if Jared the Galleria of Jewelry really does sell jewelry so good it’ll make all of my lady’s friends jealous, because they’re on my shitlist now. Their commercials are so annoying, there’s no chance I’ll ever shop there.
“Katherine Heigl’s Knocked Up: The Demise of the Female Slacker” by Meaghan O’Rourke of Slate
Filed under: Ad Nauseam, commercials | Tagged: Jared, Jared The Galleria of Jewelry, Katherine Heigl, Knocked Up |
Reptastic 
You have Jared’s marketing campaign right on. They are focusing on the shallow side of a woman and couple that with pettiness. While getting engaged and/or married is a beautiful thing, companies like Jared don’t care about that because they really do want you to be the envy of your friends. Think about it, when you meet up with friends that just got engaged you always ask to see the ring. You see the ring before you hear the story even. So many people in this country are overly focused on the ring and on the day, that the reality of what they are actually doing becomes flooded. As annoying as Jared’s ads are, they will be around for awhile because there are so many people that think the way Jared wants them to.
You make an interesting point about men becoming less fun after dating someone for awhile. Do you think those guys want to be less fun? I do. This doesn’t happen to every guy out there, nor the majority, but it happens. Maybe it is because the partner isn’t that fun herself? It seems like some men want to be buzz killed by women on purpose though.
From the female perspective, I hate those commercials too. The women look SOOO stupid and make normal women (not saying that I am) look just as retarted. Not that I have anyone out there looking to buy me jewelery for the holidays, but if I got a package from Jared’s I would probably laugh in that person’s face.
Also, interesting spin on the Heigl outburst. Never really thought of it that way.
Well written blog Jeremy. Good entertainment for my slow Friday night at work. Thanks
I actually enjoy the commercial because that young brunette is hot, hot, hot! As soon as it comes on, I glue
myself to the TV wating for her to say “HE WENT TO JARED” with a beautiful smile to die for.
You’re an idiot if you don’t go to Jared. That’s all I’m sayin’.
I agree, you obviously don’t love your woman if you don’t go. And ladies, if your man goes to anywhere but Jared, say a shithouse like Zales, then dump that loser on the spot. He might as well have bought you that engagement ring from Gypsies.
Fuck Katherine Heigl
As a woman i am so demeaned by these stupid ads that seek to make women appear shallow, materialistic and gossipy. I hope there is not a man on this planet that falls for it – i despise the way they prey on men’s insecurities by making them worried that if they buy THE WRONG jewelry that the love of their life will think they are cheap. If i got jewelry from Jared it would be returned the next day.
Whoever thinks that Jared is the epitome of quality jewelry is surfing in Nebraska. Everytime I hear those repulsiv Jared commercials I want to rip my ears off. Besides the fact that the idea of the engagement ring was concocted by the diamond industry themselves. People just buy into these ideas and lap it up.
And why is it that women are so shallow that they require a piece jewelry for every occassion or holiday on the calendar? Heart shaped diamonds for Valentines, journey pendants for christmas, anniversary earrings.. so on and so forth. Pretty soon women will want earrings for Presidents day or MLK. What the hell?
Personally, I don’t believe in owning an engagement ring purely for the purpose of benefiting large corporate jewerly companies. I just want the wedding band. Consequently, the piece of jewelry I want can ONLY be found at Wellendorf. And no one that I know has ever heard of it or would even recognize it if it were on my finger. I don’t give a rats ass what other petty snarky woment think of me.
If you’re going to buy jewelry you shouldn’t go to somewhere so generic and cookie cutter as Jared. And any woman who values their love and affection based on jewelry doesn’t deserve love. Besides, does anyone know what exactly a galleria of jewelry is?
The brunette in this commercial is GORGEOUS. I just want to kiss her cheek, and nibble her neck. I WISH I could get her name, fap fap fap.
I don’t hold anything against Jared’s, they are advertising, advertising is a key component of a successful national business. Sure it’s a bit unrealistic, but so are talking Gecko’s with a Cockny English accent.
As for Occasional Jewelry. I have no problem with it. I can see engagements, because it makes the woman feel nice. I can’t imagine too many women willing to accept some hemp engagement ring like some of the hairy armpit chicks detracting these ads. Most down to earth women would be happy to accept a nice diamond for engagement, from wherever.
We’re about to go into the Greatest Depression of All Time,yet people are still wasting money on this junk.
You can’t eat jewelery.It doesn’t keep you warm.It’s resale value will be negligble with everyone trying to raise cash with what’s coming.
retards
Joe, it’s you. You are the target audience for these ads. You don’t see anything wrong with legendarily SHITTY advertisements, because “hurf durf they need to advertise!” And you’ll tolerate the ad because you want the chick in it. So you aren’t going to be put off by what is essentially a cheese-grater to the brain of most sensible people.
But you miss WHY jewelry “makes women feel nice.” Or some women. And you miss that the women portrayed in these ads, the one you want so hard, are shallow, soulless vultures. They’re the sort of people who spout other people’s opinions, and when encountered by sane people, the other party will nod politely and walk away from the exchange while their brain screams at them as it peels through the layers of WRONGNESS with everything that just came out of the woman’s mouth. Most of the time you can’t even let them have it verbally, even if you want to, because you can’t even know where to start.
You’re receptive to everything they want to get across, and blind to everything that comes across for the rest of us.
You’re like that one idiot in a million who replies to spam emails in order to buy “H3RB4| V!4GRA.” It only takes one of the RIGHT KIND OF IDIOT, out of thousands at whom they spit this shit. Just one to make it worth it. I hope you’re proud of yourself.
The fun irony in all this is that, as far as jewelry goes, Jared is pretty cheap (quality-wise).
First, the radio commercials are so horrid with the high pitched yammering that I thought the stores must be…had to be… as junky and yammering as the audio… “let it be JAAARRRRREEEEDDD”…
Second, because of the frankly ear annoying yammer, I was curious about the store/s itself. I had a moderately successful career interest in radio and audio advertising and my curiosity was satisfied with a store visit.
While seeing a friend in Knoxville, TN this weekend, I went to JAAAARRRRREEEEEDDDDD.
What a pleasant suprise, really! the store was attractive and I was met by and very nicely greeted by an exceptionally attractive -to me- woman in the store. She was so cordial and pleasant in a friendly and quietly sophisticated way that I was frankly shocked that a store with such screamingly annoying sounding radio commercials would have an in-store ambiance that was so positive!
I was in the Knoxville store in the late morning Saturday Dec 13.
Where can i see these commercials? I heard they are quite awful.
He went to Jared…an I went to Costco and got it $2k cheaper.
Ian, how about this for a blanket statement about someone you don’t know…
You’re a fag, Ian. Get that hand off your boyfriend’s dick and type a coherent opinion.
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BTW The girls name is Sadie Alexandru.
wow!!! i love jared! and i think the ads are funny and cute. its just an add i dont understand how people get so mad have a sense of humor! and you all are doing just what they want TALKING ABOUT JARED!!!!!!!!! good or bad right now probley the most popular jewery store out there.
Probley? PROBLEY??? HOW ABOUT PROBABLY!!!! No wonder you like Jared’s, you probably like those inane Yoplait commercials also (You know, bitchy wife, whipped husband).
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