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Q: What`s the difference between love and herpes?

A: Herpes lasts forever.

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Kawał z dnia 2024-04-30

Q: What`s the difference between a gynecologist and a geneologist?

A: One looks up the family tree, and the other looks up the family bush.

Kawał z dnia 2024-04-29

An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student`s immediate family. A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, `What about extreme sexual exhaustion?`

The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, `You can write with your other hand.`

Kawał z dnia 2024-04-28

A husband and wife, out enjoying a round of golf, were about to tee off on the third hole, which was lined with beautiful homes. The wife hit her shot and the ball began to slice - her shot was headed directly at a very large plate glass window. Much to her surprise, the ball smashed through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.

They felt compelled to see what damage was done and drove off to see what happened. When they peeked inside the house, they found no one there. The husband called out and no one answered. Upon further investigation, they saw a small gentleman sitting on the couch with a turban on his head.

The wife asked the man, `Do you live here?`

`No, someone just hit a ball through the window, knocked over the vase you see there, freeing me from that little bottle. I am so grateful!` he answered.

The husband asked, `Are you a genie?`

`Oh, why, yes I am. In fact, I am so grateful I will grant you two wishes, and the third I will keep for myself,` the man replied.

The husband and wife agreed on two wishes - one was for a scratch handicap for the husband, to which the wife readily agreed. The other was for an income of $1,000,000 per year forever.

The genie nodded his head and said, `Done!`

The genie now said, `For my wish, I would like to have my way with your wife. I have not been with a woman for many years, and after all, I made you a scratch golfer and a millionaire.`

The husband and wife agreed.

After the genie and wife were finished, the genie asked the wife, `How long have you been married?`

To which she responded, `Three years.`

The genie then asked, `How old is your husband?`

To which she replied, `31 years old.`

The genie then asked, `And how long has he believed in this genie crap?`