Man's best friend forever: Why we buried our husbands with their pets

By Alison Smith Squire for MailOnline
Updated: 04:41 EDT, 3 February 2010

Whenever widow Penny Lally looks out of the windows of her farmhouse, she's comforted by the fact that, since her late husband John is buried in the garden, he is never far away.

And, should there be some sort of afterlife, Penny has ensured he will not go short of company, either.

For John, who died three years ago from cancer aged 64, is buried with a menagerie of now deceased family pets. Super Sam, Penny's beloved horse, is one of the animals buried with him. 

Final resting place: Penny Lally husband's John has been buried alongside several of the family's pets including a horse, a dog and a canary

Blot the cat is another, while Muppet the Alsatian dog, who died just two weeks after John, is also there. Last, but not least, is Brian the canary.

And when the time comes  -  for there is still room in the plot  -  there will be a space for Penny herself in what has become a popular pet and human cemetery.

'If John was buried on his own in some bleak windy graveyard, it would make me feel very sad,' says Penny, 66, from Penzance, Cornwall, who, as well as running the cemetery, has a bed and breakfast.

'But knowing he had such a lovely burial  -  he was carried up the garden in a biodegradable wicker basket to the sound of a Cornish piper  -  and is at rest in a beautiful woodland with all the animals, has made his death so much easier to bear.

'I often laugh that John has a canary singing in his ear, a cat purring at his feet and a dog at his side.

'Ultimately, the woodland symbolises the circle of life and death so beautifully. Just standing there, you feel so close to nature and it makes death feel natural, as, of course, it should be.

Animal lovers: Penny with husband John who died three years ago

'I know some people might find this hard to understand, but I loved the pets as much as John and wanted them all to be close to me and to each other.'

It must be said that this sort of family grave, with its space for an assortment of pets, might not be to everyone's taste. But  -  unsurprisingly perhaps, given that we are a nation of animal-lovers  -  the Lally family are far from the only ones who are making the decision to be buried with their pets.

West Lindsey District Council is the latest authority to grant planning permission for a human and animal burial site near Stainton, north of Lincoln, where pets can be interred besides their devoted owners, instead of being cremated (the usual practice when an animal dies).

So what's the reason for this growing trend? 'People nowadays love their pets as much as their human family,' says Penny.

'They see them as one and the same, and it doesn't surprise me that this has now extended to wanting to be buried with them as well.' 

Of course, the notion of being buried with pets isn't new. The Egyptian pharaohs were often buried with mummified cats, monkeys and birds  -  animals they believed shared an afterlife with humans.

And Anglo-Saxon nobles were interred with their horses  -  although when Christianity became the dominant religion in Britain, the practice fell out of favour, because many believed that pet rituals were linked to paganism.

Forever friends: Tony Robbins plans to be buried with his beloved dogs Zultan and Nishka (pictured) who died in 2004

But none of this concerned the Lallys when the idea was first suggested to them by an elderly neighbour a year or two before John's death. Penny says: 'We used to have a small facility on our land for people to bury their pets here, whose owners who didn't want their pets cremated.

'Then one day we had an elderly woman who lived nearby who owned seven cats and wanted to be buried with them when she died. ha

'Her cats had been her family, and when they had all passed away, she'd had them cremated and kept their ashes in urns. Although she didn't want to bury each of her cats individually, she wanted their ashes placed beside her in her grave.

'It was certainly an unusual request, but she loved the beautiful countryside here and, when we thought about it, we really wanted to help.

'Of course, you can't just bury anyone in your garden. We had to apply for permission from our local authority to extend our licence to burying humans as well as animals.

'But it didn't take long and it was wonderful that we were able to carry out the lady's last wishes.

'It seemed such a lovely idea to be not only with your human family, but your animals too, and it inspired other pet owners who'd booked plots for their pets to consider being buried with them.

'Having helped to fulfil this woman's dream, John and I decided that when the time came, we, too, wanted to be buried side by side and with all our animals.'

Since then, more than 30 owners have been laid to rest with their pets on Penny's farm, at an average cost of £2,000 to £3,000 per burial.

'People love it because, unlike a typical cemetery, there are no gravestones,' she explains. 'Instead, we have an 11in slate plaque to commemorate the person or pet who is buried there. Then we plant a tree, often in memory of the character of the person who has died. The plants absolutely flourish on top of the plots.

'The whole farm is 23 acres in total and we have sectioned off a six-acre plot for the woodland cemetery, separate to the rest of the land.'

Just as Penny and John had agreed, after his death, she arranged for him to be laid to rest with the animals.

'Now I find it remarkably comforting that he is still so close and that I can walk out and visit his grave whenever I want,' she says. 

Family affair: The Robbins's visit the grave of Tony's mother and the family's dogs

'Because I organised his funeral myself, it felt much more personal. We had a large ceremony with many well-wishers, and after burying him here with the pets, we all went for a wake nearby.'

So popular has this practice become that Penny now has 120 bookings  -  a fact that has convinced her people are taking to the idea of being close to their animals after death.

Mother-of-two Melanie Robbins, 40, agrees. She has booked a plot for herself, her pets and her husband, Tony, 49, at the Tarn Moor Memorial Woodland natural burial suite near Skipton in North Yorkshire.

Meanwhile, her mother-in-law Joan, 85, is already there, buried next to the family dogs.

It all began with their pet German shepherd Zultan. It was after Zultan, aged 14, died in 2004 that Melanie, from Leeds, discovered the alternative burial site.

'I couldn't face just leaving him with the vet,' she says. 'And I was looking at pet cemeteries when I discovered that Tarn Moor would bury both people and animals.

'Zultan was buried, followed by our German shepherd Nishka later that year. Melanie, a housewife, adds: 'Tony's mother Joan used to come with us and the children to visit the pet burial site, and she grew to love it. She decided that when she died she wanted to be buried at Tarn Moor.'

So when, in 2008, Joan passed away, she was buried under an oak tree next to the family pets. There are no headstones, vases or flowers allowed at the grave, but an accurate plan is made to identify individual plots.

'Visiting Tarn Moor is like going out to the country for the day,' says Melanie. 'It might sound strange for a cemetery, but there isn't a frightening feeling of death as you might get in a spooky graveyard.

'The children love it up there, seeing the wild rabbits and sheep grazing. So it felt entirely right that they came to their grandma's funeral there.

'She was buried in a natural sea grass and wicker coffin, and after the ceremony the adults sat under a gazebo and toasted her with a tot of whisky, which she used to like herself.'

A year later, the family's collie cross dog, Tethys, was buried there.

He will eventually be joined by Tony and Melanie and the couple's current dog, Karis. Each pet burial cost £300, while Joan's costs £2,850 in total.

Meanwhile, Melanie and Tony, 49, an engineer, have paid more than £800 on a deposit to reserve their spaces with the dogs, with the balance payable when each one dies.

'Death is often seen as a taboo subject and it's sad that people rarely discuss it, especially with children,' says Melanie.

'But this way, by celebrating the lives of our animals as well as our family, our children have come to view death as a normal, rather than worrying, part of life.'

Another woman joining this trend is Mim Nash, 55, who has reserved a £1,900 plot on Penny Lally's land in Cornwall for herself and her artist husband John, 65.

They planned to be interred with their dog Conor, a ten-year-old Irish wolfhound who died two years ago, who is already buried in the woodland.

'Conor was one of the family,' says Mim, a potter, who has two grownup sons. 'We got him from a rescue home and he never left our sides. He lived to a good age and had a peaceful death.

'But I wasn't happy at the thought of having him cremated at the vet's. What people don't realise is that often a cremation will be done with several other animals, so the ashes you are given might not even be of your pet. I also felt it would be more natural for him to disintegrate into the earth.'

Mim and John originally discussed burying Conor in the garden of their home in Penzance, Cornwall.

In fact, according to the Association of Private Pet Cemeteries and Crematoria, of the estimated 1.5million cats and dogs that die in the UK every year, some 300,000 are buried in owner's gardens, about 100,000 are individually cremated, 1,000 interred in pet cemeteries and the rest incinerated as clinical waste.

'But apart from the practical issues of burying Conor in our garden and physically digging a hole big enough, we knew that if we ever move from this house, we would have to leave him here,' she says.

Then the couple heard about the possibility of him being buried in woodland where they too could eventually be laid to rest. 'Conor had a wonderful funeral,' recalls Mim.

'Several other friends attended with their dogs and we had a delightful graveside service when we remembered him.

Mim adds: 'As for us, where and how we would both be buried had always been a sticking point with John and I. John is religious whereas I am not.

'But this way, we could have a big enough plot so we could be buried together, and both of us could be happy.

'Me because I wasn't in a typical cemetery, and John because you can see the local village church from where his grave will be.

'We also like the idea that the area is kept as natural as possible rather than filled with huge shrines that can look so ostentatious and tacky.'

Mim, who is also considering burying her four cats in the plot as well, does admit that her sons have found this a strange choice.

'My sons are in their 30s and couldn't understand why we were so keen on such a "wacky" idea,' she says. 'My younger son, who attended Conor's funeral, did turn round and say how lovely it was, though.

'I think he was surprised at how touching and emotional the service was, and what a beautiful and peaceful place it is. That's why we are so keen to be laid to rest there, too.'